Tom Thumb On A Hairpin
……and then the magician
saw the woman in half,
the audience in whole applauded.
A child gave birth to a giraffe,
Backstage the rituals are sordid.
Some were contrived Victorian
And cherry cola Korean,
Quirky up and coming chameleons,
Assorted criminals too.
London summers poll taxed,
Gertrude Stein piggy back race,
Imperialistic moustache hair
Like oceans of rope intertwined.
Moved into chasm candy
Known in England sweet.
Joust my ghost on the Internet,
Kill the X-ray, shoot the moon.
Shower gouged in etiquette.
Pigeon vehicle made the zenith,
Harlem sonnets bull ball blues,
Grated melon fast track go!
Passports shat from a mojo joe.
Deeper sounds of bass
Have cropped the fringe,
Aghast at almost anything
And through the weekly thin.
Blunder blow bleed blare Blair,
Votes into the mosquito net.
Mephedrone Supped the milk,
Milk into the bow,
Bow of bowing rendered crow,
Feet can’t stand the ground.
Lop off a finger in spite of its hand,
Look who’s cursing now.
Favourite pubs juggled our eyes,
Took the bait and fucked it.
Trusted Tokyo to be Russian,
Trusted fixing to stay broken.
Spoken and spat and buggered.
First to the border dies,
Last to the border dies,
Middleman gets the goose.
Operation buy out bonanza,
Buy one get one free of emotion.
Speaking of which a witches hat,
A witches bones pestle and mortar.
We got representative governments,
Fax your silent condolences,
See you at the funeral of fun.
Orange seas, Timbuktu,
Aloha fanny, cape canaveral,
Carnival my iris blue.
Kip on the kite string,
Apron April apricot baloo.
Kipling made a grab for it,
He got Groucho Marx for a song.
His tongue was Julia Roberts,
His mask was Tutenkahmun.
I hope you make a sweating good job of it,
Out on a limb barking at a dog,
Retrograde, gatorade,
Princess Beatrice got me hot.
Graffiti for your Yayoi art.
Nurse the nearest drink,
Losing light, tight lipped leather,
Counting candles, years are lost.
Beauty marks are burning sparks,
Catherine wheels cut the cake.
Pose the question unposing,
Monday meant its starting,
Lose the train in a tunnel.
Paint each signal with a heartache,
Coin the term terminal.
Alligator or Allison run for your ID.
Perestroika themed birthday party,
Vladimir Putin eyes,
Hurry up! take a picture of his neck,
Kodak are killing all the vampires,
Blood will be extinct.
If labour is work then what’s in labour,
Who’s got the golden egg?
Rainbows smog, black n blue,
Jawbone fractured,
You’ve been thatchered,
They butchered you like swine.
Qwerty Cunt cashed in Crazy,
Crash a footballers Mercedes,
Dolly Partons prize.
Bare cotching and the like.
Slang slung mud wrestling,
Words can be a fight.
Out in Falmouth they’re sailing
Home to where the fish is fried.
Chocolate for Jesus Christ,
Four forty four man is five.
Lucifer or a Lucy Lui,
Lasso me a winning horse,
Off to the races, claim a headstone,
Bill me chips and ketchup
And catch up with me in time.
X marks the bald spot, tie it in a knot,
A present for the ribbon,
A typewriter for the bow.
Orchestras a chorus of swans
Shooting us an evil eye, even I deny.
How’s about a tea of cup?
How’s about a water of glass?
I can’t tell the difference
Between the future and the past.
It’s barely present anyway
A shotgun couldn’t tell them apart.
Hearse us a reward for war,
Medals recycled, torch relayed,
Olympic gimp, sooner the worse,
Better off a belt on the arm.
A wrist on the slap of a hand in bird,
Sender to return.
One can be three and six can be six,
Stepping on cracks apparently a jinx,
Here curiosity murdered the sphinx.
Buffalo Buddha made me moan,
Starstruck by Starbucks,
The young bucks were tipped over,
Each to his own gulp,
Bleached in the light of the moon.
Be Geisha, Be sad, Be Sunny side up,
I was joyful in my teens.
Miserable in my mid to late twenties,
Found love for real in the late twos.
I don’t blame the rock n roll
As much as I blame art college.
Mascara the bacon, it is it,
Zero just because it’s a million,
Devalue every coin.
poor is in, Make peace with sin,
Ask forgiveness,
Not the Operater.
The doctor doesn’t know you
But he knows you well and unwell,
God loves you but which one?
Hangover on a cliff edge,
Soap operas don’t make you clean.
It’s the snowman smiling puddle white,
Riffing about in the undergrowth,
Taking it as it goes with clothes.
Black metal corpse paint
Quoting what no one knows,
Try this feeling on for size.
Understatement of the century
Has not come into focus fading,
Bleary booze goggles light of my life,
Claws of course a clause for sangria.
Santa had Nazareth enthralled.
Holocaust of plague skipping ropes,
Locust me a whore sipping ventricle
And make everything alright again
With your words of wisdom weeping
On bbc documentaries and ovaries.
Blessed be sir David Attenborough.
kick down the alley behind Alers road,
Goddess have mercy on trinity place.
Memories like butter melting
Wouldn’t melt in your arsehole,
Just saying that im saying nothing
the contrary fairy light bulb strobe
To be undone, Colombus on coke.
MDMA MI5 MI6, do a survey,
Sign this petition for a vision.
Muhammed wing a planting pony,
True but utterly deppressingly false.
Antidote ordered on amazon sold out
PayPal didn’t return my funds,
Glands like an elephant monkey,
The trees grew dominoes for kicks,
Goofy was a what what now, now for jokes,
Here comes another dose of virus;
Seahorse comatose Jekyll and Clyde
Don’t sssshhh me now you shouldn’t,
You see vultures are rectangling
And found cannot be answers.
Houdini out to Arizona may as well
Be bexleyheath like a tooth nerve.
To be unhonest my version is best,
Skewed warped and awesome.
Commiserations to your understudy
Underdog just got the carpet fluff,
Next door are Australian spidermen.
I stretch elastic chewing gum soul,
Counter clockwise wizard of oz,
Halos on a dilido, Vaseline and cuffs.
King illuminati my name is Merle,
Poltergeist my coat hanger hero,
Apocalypse for hire,get some now.
Kerosene Crap game
torch your skin a relay.
Goofball violence
Mug faced oblivion
Obligated to a dear stamp
Queen Mother guillotine
Fashion a suicide from Gucci rope
Happy with an earth braid
Harness the power of a hosepipe ban
Gold tooth nasal passage
Up the prairie without an oyster card
How’s the family and the single life?
What is a ghost still breathing?
A ghost still breathing is you on the pavement of deptford with a jaw in a thousand pieces.
Fattened up for wi-fi snipers
Tightrope handstands über myth
Kill the killer with a kilo of crack
The aneashatists broken back
Get one gratis here
Cut off your hand to save the arm
Peering through periscopes
sourpussMesserschmitt
world bank of pricks
Dead lay the dead like a pile of dead.
Washing in the wetting valleys
I hope you don’t get caught in this rain.
The new Gestapo gentry made entry
You cannot find a cold ice cream
I scrape my car on your keys
I keep a scrapbook from your toe clippings
That’s a horror of the Internet age
Stab me in the 2nd rib
Cain in an hourglass sand timer
Drown the days in too much grain.
First of all I will not listen
And I will have the last say
In the middle was a fairground
Dancing lights from the skulls of day
Excessive tramadol hearing aid
Blood red black battery cables
Put your arse to the moon
Depth is a virtue of character
Those with short pockets can ill afford.
Rest in the gen set holed up at the bridge, gimp mask ventriloquist,
How did you handle it?
Like adults on a bouncy castle.
Welcome to the circus of horrors,
Welcome to the lions den,
Step inside the magicians hat
You won’t come out again.
Look at the fear in the rabbits eyes
And walk the tightest rope,
Behold the room of mirrors
Abandon all your hope.
Backstage the rituals are sordid,
A child gives birth to a giraffe.
The audience in whole applauded
………And the magician saw the woman in half………
Paul Francis Relf
London May - August 2012
